"Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand."
Sylvia Plath (via bl-ossomed)
Australian. Male. Gay. Mostly harmless. May contain traces. Side effects are uncommon and may include faintness, moderate to severe amnesia, confusion, euphoria, sedation, increased anxiety, death, dizziness, cardiac arrhythmia, mild heart explosions, darkened soul, and fire. May contain evil; evil is not a toy.
Anon asks:(Please answer privately or with anon) While I was in Gym in school, I heard somebody make homophobic and sexist remarks. Not controlling myself, I hit them in the head with my gym bag. I didn’t get in trouble, since I didn’t do it too hard since I almost never get angry, but what do you think would’ve been a better way to deal with it?Hit them harder.
oh, Jesus Christ.
What is up with all the popular “social justice” people on Tumblr suggesting violence as a way to solve problems? First Wario, now this.
NO. NOT VIOLENCE. Hitting people and intimidating them into pretending to believe what you want them to believe is so Nineteen Eighty-Four.
Be a fucking adult. Talk to them. Explain to them why those remarks are harmful and why they’re being a bigot. And if they still refuse to understand, let it go. Hitting them isn’t going to solve the problem. It’s not going to suddenly make them less homophobic.
Sometimes you have to sit down and have a reasoned empathic discussion based in logic and a rational, respectful, exchange of views with someone. Other times you just have to nut them.
In this case, a reasoned discussion in the first instance would have been the right way to go about it (we have very limited information; assuming a once-off instance, be an adult, be mature).
But if we’re talking about a persistent bully, who’s decided that the Question-Asker is their personal target, and this is the latest in a long line of targeted insults, then, and I speak from long, hard, and nasty experience on this, no reasoned discussion will help, no letting go will help, because they’ll keep pushing buttons until they get a reaction. Intervention from outside will not help; not even the law serve you as well as just giving the fucker a bloody nose. It’s a question of objectives; change their mind on homophobia, or just get them to leave you in peace?
Of course if you do that it a) has to be a clear-cut case of self-defence or you’ll get in trouble, and b) you will get the snot beaten out of you in response. But they’ll leave you alone after that; the price is too high.